Ok, so this is my first attempt at blogging. I got the idea from www.mssinglemama.com - it's a great site to visit if you are a single mom and need some inspiration!

I have a beautiful 19 month old daughter, Morgan. About six months ago, Morgan's father and I separated. It was I who ended the relationship because he is an alcoholic and was emotionally and verbally abusive to me. It took a lot of guts to call it quits because we were together for nearly 7 years.

That was June. By July, I couldn't breathe. I wondered if I made the right decision. Each time he took Morgan away for the weekend, someone would kick me in my stomach. I felt like he took everything I had and now he was taking away my family.

I cried everywhere - at work, in the car, in the store...there was no place I could hide.

July was not much better. Seeing him twice a week, not knowing what was happening with Morgan when I wasn't there.

August and September were better. When I didn't have Morgan, I worked. I worked until 2 or 3 a.m. I started school again to finish my Bachelor's degree.

In October, I found out he was dating and she was around Morgan. I felt replaceable.

November...Thanksgiving. He gets Morgan for 1 week. The office is closed and I'm at home. Alone. Completely alone. I lock my doors, turn off my phone, and completely shut down. I don't go out and I don't eat. I sit and stare. I sleep. I cry so hard that I puke.

December. Things are better. I write things down - thoughts on random pieces of paper. On anything, a crinkled napkin, a gum wrapper, or on the back of something. I'm getting over it but it's still hard. I take things day by day.

2010 will be MY year. I will make it my year. I will turn 29, Morgan will be 2, and I will graduate from college. I will live each day better than the one before it. I will find love, even if it is just to love myself.

http://mssinglemama.com/2009/12/28/new-year-contest/#comment-15007